September 12th Day 20 --> What's My Motivation????

Breakfast:  Coffee with Almond Milk and Honey; bacon, sausage and egg

Lunch:  Chicken with olives, yellow pepper, red pepper, tomatoes

Dinner:  Chicken with grilled Meditteranean Vegetables (tomatoes, onions, peppers, cougette) with garlic and olive oil

Exercise:  Chest And Back
Lat Pull Down Version 1: 3 sets of 7 starting at 57.5 kilos and dropping 7.5 kilos each set
Lat Pull Down Version 2: 3 sets of 7 starting at 57.5 kilos and dropping 7.5 kilos each set
Seated Floor Pulley Row:  3 sets of 7 starting at 57.5 kilos and dropping 7.5 kilos each set
Chest Press:  3 sets of 7 starting at 45 kilos and dropping 5 kilos each set
Lower Back:  3 sets of 10 at 45 kilos
Press Ups on the Fit Ball --> 3 sets of 10
Fitball Crunches:
Regular style x 20
Cross Over x 20
Pelvic Lift x 20

Playlist:
Foo Fighters -->  "The Pretender"
Kasabian -->  "Where Did All the Love Go?"
The Prodigy -->  "Breathe"
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club -->  "Spread Your Love"
Corona -->  "Rhythm of the Night"
3OH!3 --> "Starsrukk (feat. Katy Perry)"
Black Strobe --> "I'm a Man"

Thoughts:
This morning I wasn't going to go to the gym.  I woke up and rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom and I took my iPad with me.  I saw that I had a comment from yesterday's post from a lady named Anne.  Her words of encouragement pushed me to go to the gym.  So I went.

My chest and back workout was good.  Still no interval training as my throat and chest don't feel right and the fact that if I did run my face would probably turn a gorgeous shade of purple (Purples are in this season, you know!!) and I would probably end up passing out. That wouldn't be a good start to a Friday.

While I was pumping iron this morning I got to thinking what motivates me to drag myself out of my bed at 5:40 in the morning to go to the gym.

The red vintage coat?  Yes definitely.  My body con dress?  Yup, that too.

But for me, the biggest motivation doesn't come in clothing form.  No, it comes in the form of 2 people I love and care about dearly.

The first person is my best friend.  She, too, is on a weight loss journey.  She's taking a different path to mine and she is showing great results.  Today she hit a major weight loss milestone.  I am sooooooooooo proud, so happy for her!!!!  She has helped me through the pizza, cookie and bad food cravings.  When I despair because I feel like crap, she refocuses me.  I can hear her voice in my head when I am working out.  When it hurts, I hear her pushing me to go on.  To run faster, lift heavier.  She is my inspiration and I love her.  She is like the sister that I have always wanted.

My second motivation?  My boyfriend.  He is my constant inspiration too.  He's accomplished a lot in his life with sheer determination, sacrifice and a can do attitude. Everyday he tells me that I am beautiful.  He knows that I am on this journey and he tells me that he loves me the way I am.  He understands why I am doing this.  He understands my health issues and how I want to go on vacation and rock a bikini on the beach for the first time in my life instead of a burkini. 

The weight isn't just stopping me from wearing crop tops or my vintage jacket, it's stopping me getting intimate with the love of my life. We do have a good and active sex life, but it's always with the lights off in the same position because the thought of him looking at my droopy tits, thunder thighs, back boobs, and wobbly, stretch marked belly makes me feel physically sick.  How could he find those things attractive??  He's younger than me (by 4 years) and very good looking (he's definitely my better half).  I feel like I am punching above my weight with him.  How can someone that is obese like me keep a good looking younger man? 

I tell him this but he says that he loves my body and he loves me how I am.  I still don't understand it. 

But there is one thing for sure.  Those 2 people believe in me.  They believe that I can do this and that I can achieve my goals.  So, yes when a pizza is in front of me, I am very tempted but I think of letting the 2 most important people (besides my family, of course) down and the pizza isn't so tempting anymore. 

I am not doing this for them, hell no!  I am doing this for me.  This is my journey, my battle and they are my cheerleaders.

But thanks to Anne, I have another cheerleader too which makes it easier.  So thank you to all the people who are reading this.  You are my inspiration, my motivation to get up when it's 5:40 in the morning and get myself to the gym.  Thank you for inspiring me to keep on going.  I won't let you down.