Snack: Cottage Cheese
Lunch: Cannelini Beans, feta, avocado, olives, spring onion, white wine vinegar, salt and pepper
Dinner: Turkey, bacon and salad with feta and olives
Exercise:
30 minutes on the Stepper/Cross Trainer thing
15 minutes on the bike sprinting
Playlist:
Kasabian --> Cutt Off
Churches --> Lies
Black Keys --> Howling for You
The Killers --> Read My Mind
Kasabian --> Fire
Royal Blood --> Figure It Out
Stone Roses --> She Bangs the Drums
Garbage --> Special
Kaiser Chiefs --> My Life
M83 --> Reunion
Garbage --> I'm Only Happy When It Rains
DB Boulevard --> Point of View
Calvin Harris feat Haim --> Pray to God
Thoughts
Today I had to literally drag my ass to the gym and workout. I woke up at 5:11 and thought should I roll over and go back to sleep. The boyfriend snored and I thought I won't sleep.
As i was driving there I was cursing it. I really didn't want to go. I got to the gym, reluctantly got onto the treadmill. I wasn't feeling it. I then thought that I need something else.
So I went on the stair stepper/cross trainer thing and hit 30 minutes for my goal and started to go for it. I was reading through my Facebook and I saw a comment left on this guy that I know's wall that was nasty and it was directed at me. Something happened a year ago and me and the person that left the nasty comment directed at me and I parted on bad terms.
That was a year ago. Why can't people let things go?
It hit me. I was holding onto it too. The guy that I knew was bad news for me too. So I took a deep breath unfriended and blocked him. And after I did that, I instantly felt like a massive weight was taken off my back.
I think a lot of times we don't realize that personal situations in our life really do effect our subconscious. We hold on to the past, old friends, old thoughts and wonder why we stumble and why we don't' achieve our goals.
Since I have been doing this blog, I have had the excitement, I go for it, then all of a sudden I start sabotaging myself. It's like I am preventing myself from getting the one thing that I want....abs!!!!
Everything happened so quickly to me. I gained a boyfriend, a new job, a new home in a new city in the space of 6 weeks. When I started my training with Dan, my head was up my ass. I didn't take the time to adjust or come to terms with what happened to me. I was holding onto old friends, old situations and old feelings. Of course I failed.
It's almost a year on from when I made those changes. I am in a better place in my life, I feel. I feel positive in general and this week I feel that I have cleared some mental and physical hurdles.
I accredit this Kathryn and my best friend, Sunny. Both of them have been my rock. Kathryn is always on the end of the phone if I need her. She always gives me positive pep talks and when I am down, she pushes me and helps me get through it.
And Sunny....God, I cannot even begin to describe this. She knows the insecurities and feelings I get. I can message her in the morning when I am at the gym. When I am flagging she picks me up and cheers me on. Many a time when I am struggling or faltering through my intervals, she has pushed me on. When I have had carb cravings (bread cravings are now gone!!! Whoop whoop!!) she has told me to cut the crap and keep eating good clean food.
Losing weight is not only about losing numbers on the scale, it's about losing old thoughts, old habits and old feelings. And I think that I have shed the old and bad feelings and habits.
I know that I am going to have good days and bad days. I know that some days I am going to write on here that I feel fat and ugly and why am I doing this to myself. But on days like that, I will know that I am not alone in this. That I have good people around me and the only thing stopping me is me.
So today was great and I know tomorrow will be better.
Onwards and upwards!!!
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